The definition of the word volunteer in Lougnan(Longman) Dictionary is someone who helps others sponstaneously(spontaneously) and willingly. That's true! Life is a style of enjoying yourself, not only by entertaing and enriding yourself, but also by the process of helping others.
　　Undoubtfully, those volunteers reveal their great love and passion for their country. Love is the eternal theme of the world, Without hove(love), it's like birds without wings, failing to show its talents of flying, It's like spring without flowers, burying is charming fragrants in the deep soil. Their volunty work unites China, shouing the world how united Chinese people are shocking the world of its cooperation.
　　People around the country are making their efforts to helping others, which leaves the world an impression that China is a veal country, and all the people here are like brothers and sisters, who cares a lot for others. You can never imagine how touched I was when I watched the TV program called “Moving China”. 13 peasants from tangshang volunteered to help those victims of Sichuang on hearing the tremendous earthquake happened there, leaving all their farm work done in the field they sacrifiled anything and helped others at any cost, for they knew the glant pains the earthquake brings to people. They can never forget how much pains they havendertaken in the earthquake and how much help they have received from the world.. They compared their own feelings to the victims and passed the splrit on. In this sense, people will pass the spirit from generation to queneration, from China to all over the world. Then, how sweet will the World be!
　　I have a dream that one day, I will be a member of the volunteer team. I have a dream that oneday, I'll make contributions to China however slightest it may be. I have a dream that one day I'll be a founder of a world Charity, helping people all over the world. I'm firmly convinced that it will not only be a drean for me, but also a drean for people all over China, all over the world, and for the great Global Village.
　　专家建议：
　　整篇文章条理清晰，结构完整，总体感觉很好。但有个别语法错误，固定搭配有些用得不够准确，建议多用课本学过的固定搭配或是词组造句。
　　专家点评：
　　文章语言流畅，运用了修辞手法，展现出一定的语言功底。此外，论据生动有力，让人信服。如果句子之间的多用些关联词就更好了。